Systemic Family Constellations

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Bert Hellinger

Family Constellations are the life's work of German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger (1925 – 2019). His deeply transformative method is used worldwide by Family Constellation Facilitators and mental health professionals to help clients gain a deeper understanding in their lives. Hellinger's basic principle was that our challenges as human beings, the confusing feelings, the blocks in our lives, the repeated dysfunctional relational patterns, the strange physical symptoms we cannot relate to, the ghosts we feel sitting on our shoulders, the voices in our heads that tell us we are unworthy and so much more, are deeply rooted in our connection to our ancestors. And that even though we might not have known them, that negative emotional experiences and unresolved issues from their lives can have a profound impact on the life we are living now........influencing our relationships, our beliefs, our behaviors, and our physical body. This is known as generational trauma, both intergenerational and transgenerational.

This connection is known as entanglement, that you are "entangled" with your family system. Another way of saying it is that you are unconsciously "carrying" something for your family system. 

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Epigenetics 

25 years ago, when I first began using this method, it was difficult to find good words to explain how a constellation works. We talked about the resonance field, the morphogenic field, and the Knowing field. About how birds and fish "know" where each other so they don't crash, about how we all have experienced how it is to have someone change the feeling in a room just by walking in, about how we can sense how others "are." Sometimes we sounded crazy, searching for words and asking people to just believe in the magic of the experiential work. While the bit about the magic of being in a constellation is still true, in the last ten years or so, science has given us better words. 

Epigenetics is the study of how your behaviors and environment can cause changes that affect how your genes function. Unlike genetic changes, epigenetic changes do not alter the underlying DNA sequence; instead, they act like biochemical switches that turn specific genes "on" or "off. One of the most groundbreaking aspects of epigenetics is transgenerational inheritance. Research shows that some epigenetic tags caused by extreme trauma, famine, and other intense emotional experiences can be passed down through the generations. Research has found that fascia crosses the cell membranes and covers our DNA. Fascia is bioelectric, carries memory and transmits information throughout our body. I think this is why constellations work, that when our ancestors experienced intense emotional events that some genes were turned on, which passed down memories, ways of being and more, and that by doing intense emotional work in constellations we can turn them off again, bringing peace to our bodies and to the family system. 

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Classic Family Constellations

Classic Family constellations are a good starting point if you are new to this work and are perfect if you have a specific relationship you would like to take a closer look at. We can work with almost all of your relationships:

• your mother
• your father
• your birth parent
• any significant other person in your life
• a challenge your child has
• a symptom/diagnose you just can't wrap your head around
• a co-worker
• your home
• a beloved pet
• life decisions
•  even a building project you might have questions about

This is group work, so after agreeing on what the issue/theme that you would like to work with is, I will begin by asking you to choose people from the group to help make a living representation for your issue. These participants will then "stand" as representatives for the relationship you want to work with. This usually includes that you choose a representative for yourself, so that you can witness the dynamics. 

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Figure Constellations

Not everyone feels comfortable in a group, or wants to share their fears or information about strained relationships aloud. Good for you for being brave enough to say that. This is 1:1 work and instead of people to form the living image of the relationships you want to work with, we will use figures to form the image and work with your inner images. 

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Heartspeak Constellations

A Heartspeak is my own method, and group work. Although much of the process is the same, I do not ask the client set up a living image with representatives. The client themself stands as the starting point. From there we work from your hearts deepest desire, what it longs most for in the world, and the field shows us the original trauma between the client and access to your heart. 

If your heart ask for anything, what would that be?

•  joy?
•  to feel safe? 
• freedom?
• to be seen? 
• to be held?
• to be heard?
• feel acceptance?
• courage?
• to release pain?
• to feel worthy?
• Or maybe something else that only you can know, something honest, from the very core of your being?

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Circle of Security Constellations

Circle of Security is a registered and trademarked tool used to help parents take a closer look at, and understand how, their own attachment issues and bonding traumas affect their relationship to their child. I offer both Circle of Security Parenting groups, 1:1 work, as well as holding Circle of Security Constellations groups. In these groups we begin by setting up a constellation for for you and your child, using some time in order to get a better sense of your relationship. After that we open up for other representatives to join and allow the resonance field to do it's magic, revealing the dynamics behind the challenges you and your child experience. 

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While a Family Constellation can magically change things overnight, it is usually not a quick fix. What it is is a method that will allow you to see the truth behind unresolved trauma within your family system. It will allow you to learn and feel in your body how it has affected your ancestors, and how it affects you and the dynamics of your closest relationships. It is a method that leads to emotional catharsis, understanding, relief and often a deep sense of compassion as the flow of love is restored in the family system. 

A constellation has ripple effects, and will change not only your life, but will also how you relate to those around you. These ripple effects affect not only the client and the family system we work with, but workshop participants as well. We see, time and again, that being part of a constellation, or simply witnessing someone doing their personal work, can affect a participant almost as much as if it were their own constellation. Freeing blocks, loosening patterns, and giving profound insight into their own lives. 

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Image from my archive. No idea where it comes from. You know? Let me know.